Is It Okay If I Just Cry Real Soft?

So, I was getting ready to do my push ups on Wednesday evening all resolved to do the lower intensity level as I start week 2 of the push up challenge. And wouldn't you know it? The plan specifically DOES NOT LET YOU! I was so flabbergasted! It says specifically to "not cut corners" which I felt left me no choice.

So I started week 2 of torture. And you know what? Mentally, it's like I made it over the hurdle. Forcing myself to keep going and using the mental discipline to stick to the plan suddenly made it easier. No, the exercise itself didn't get any easier, but it became easier to force my body to keep going, having the mental stamina to keep going on.

I think it had to do with a class that Stacie and I are taking right now to learn about home finances. In the class recently there has been a lot of talk about the idea of personal integrity as a financial skill - integrity to stick to your budget, integrity to talk to your spouse of money and be truthful with you feelings, integrity to keep savings goals, integrity to not splurge.

So, I ask you faithful readers - appears to be only two at this point ;) - do you feel you have the personal integrity to keep your fitness promises to yourself?

Or are you just a liar?



Harsh. Yep. Every time you wimp out, you are a liar. Did that wake you up? Are you angry now? Good. Hold on to that for just a second.

That is the thought that went through my head when I found myself trying to decide if I kept moving forward on the push up plan. You see, I made a promise to myself about getting fit. I made it to Stacie. I made it to the world when I posted it on this blog. I committed myself to reaching certain goals in a certain amount of time using certain plans. And there I was, re-reading the rules and realizing that if I backed down, I was nothing more than a liar. I didn't even have enough integrity to keep a promise to myself.

Now, that's not to say we should try to keep goals that are impossible or that potentially could hurt us. But see, each of the plans I was following - one for running and one for push ups - have ways of adjusting the plan to meet my needs. The running plan says to "jog" - it doesn't specify how fast a jog should be, but leaves it up to me to scale to my abilities. The push up plan says do a certain number of push ups per set, but it lets me vary how much rest time comes between the sets. These variances allow me to adapt these plans to make them possible/achievable for me at this time. However, at the same time they force me to be honest about the weaknesses that I have.

And that is the mental hurdle I cleared, the obstacle that was in my path. So what if I can't do the push ups perfectly or don't run the 5K I'm planning in under 22 minutes? The goal was to run the 5K and finish and do 100 consecutive push ups. So long as I do my best to accomplish those, I have won. I have kept my honor. I have learned to workout with integrity.

So, again, without beating up on yourselves, I ask you - do you have the personal integrity to keep those fitness promises? And if not, what do you need to do to change that?

I realize now that I have not had the personal integrity I need to keep getting fit, especially not in the food department as Stacie will mightily testify to my midnight snacking weakness. Where then does that leave me?

Remember that email about Alma the Younger and repenting and not getting converted all in one go? Take some time to repent and fix things, then move on. Because that's all I or you can do.